If you're considering self-esteem counseling, you probably know what it's like to doubt yourself and your worth.
Maybe you wonder whether you’re good enough. Or you question your abilities and feel inadequate at times. You may even be hesitant to begin self-esteem counseling and getting to know yourself better. Because what if you discover that deep down you don’t really like yourself very much?
No doubt you’re familiar with your inner critic too. You know, the part of you who gets right to the heart of what’s wrong: you’re too old, too young, too fat, too thin, not smart enough, too ingrained to change. Or you’re a bad (fill in the blank): mother, daughter, partner, employee, friend. It could be almost anything.
A harsh inner critic depletes your self-compassion and belief in yourself.
The critical voice within you often activates feelings of insecurity and unworthiness. Or it might leave you in a loop of comparing yourself to other women and believing you fall short.
The inner critic may also convince you that other people judge you harshly, and then you unknowingly look for opportunities to prove that to yourself. The result: a lot of harsh self-judgment and the belief that you should try to be "better." Or even strive for perfection.
In spite of this, there are moments when you know your inner critic is not the expert on you and can’t be trusted.
Self-esteem counseling can help you understand your inner critic and where it comes from.
Those moments when you connect with your deepest wisdom and see yourself in a different light are golden. They offer a window into another view of yourself that’s compassionate, nurturing, loving and kind. They even offer some redemption for your inner critic.
With self-esteem counseling, you can build on that. And as you begin to heal and trust yourself, you also begin to reclaim your own powerful wisdom.
As your counselor, I’ll guide you gently and compassionately through this. I'll calm your fears and affirm your worthiness. Because truly, there’s nothing wrong with you and low self-esteem is not your fault.
Low self-esteem often has its roots in the past.
The message that you’re not okay probably started long ago, especially if you experienced disapproval, lack of support and attention, trauma, bullying or academic challenges growing up.
Women also get a lot of "you’re not okay" messages from culture and society. They can affect your body image, your confidence in making decisions about your life, your trust in yourself and others, your beliefs about what’s possible for you, and your behaviors at work and home.
Messages about your self-worth are confusing and contradictory. As a result you might…
- frequently apologize for no apparent reason
- feel obligated to please people and seek approval
- have trouble trusting yourself and saying "no"
- put your needs at the bottom of the list
- feel alone, unloved or overwhelmed
- see yourself as the biggest problem in your life
- believe you must always strive for perfection
- hold yourself to impossibly high standards
- berate yourself for not meeting those standards
- be intimidated to try new things
- struggle with anxiety and depression
The good news is that you can learn to recognize your worth and believe in yourself.
Imagine starting the day feeling comfortable in your own skin and free to be the real you, because you rarely worry about what others think of you. When you do encounter moments of doubt you understand the root causes and are able bounce back. You’ve also developed skills to cope and calm your nervous system.
It helps that you’re taking time for self-care and self-compassion, rather than distracting yourself, overworking or checking out. You’ve learned how to ask for your needs to be met and you’re happier with your relationships. You’re taking more risks and focusing on what truly makes you happy.
Is it time to take what you can imagine for yourself and make it real?
Self-Esteem Counseling FAQ
Thank you a million times for empathically listening to me and being a mirror to my soul. You are amazing. In my mind I've likened you to this sage, a medicine woman, or something of a wise spiritual counselor.
-Unsolicited email from a client, used with permission.
It is possible to see yourself through compassionate eyes and increase your self-esteem.
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