If you're dealing with low self-esteem, you know what it's like to doubt yourself and your worth.
You wonder whether you’re good enough. You question your abilities and feel inadequate at times. Maybe you even fear going to self-esteem counseling and getting to know yourself better. Because what if you discover you're someone you don’t really like?
You’re probably also familiar with your inner critic, the part of you who gets right to the heart of what’s wrong: you’re too old, too young, too fat, too thin, not smart enough, too ingrained to change. It could be almost anything.
A harsh inner critic depletes your self-esteem and self-compassion.
You end up feeling insecure and unworthy. You compare yourself to other women and think you fall short. You're also convinced people judge you harshly, and you look for opportunities to prove that to yourself. The result: a lot of harsh self-judgment and the belief that you should be perfect.
In spite of this, there are moments when you know your inner critic is wrong.
Self-esteem counseling can help you challenge your inner critic and learn to trust yourself.
Those moments when you connect with your deepest wisdom and see yourself in a different light are golden. They offer a window into another view of yourself that’s compassionate, nurturing, loving and kind. With self-esteem counseling, you can build on that. You can begin to reclaim your power.
As your counselor, I’ll guide you gently and compassionately through this. I'll calm your fears and affirm your worthiness. Because truly, there’s nothing wrong with you and low self-esteem is not your fault.
Low self-esteem often has its roots in the past.
The message that you’re not okay probably started long ago, especially if you experienced disapproval, lack of support and attention, trauma, bullying or academic challenges growing up.
Women also get a lot of 'you’re not okay' messages from society. They can affect your body image, your confidence in making decisions about your life, your trust in yourself and others, your beliefs about what’s possible for you, and your behaviors at work and home.
Messages about your self-worth are confusing and contradictory. As a result you might…
- Frequently apologize for no apparent reason
- Try to please people all the time
- Have trouble saying 'no'
- Put your needs at the bottom of the list
- Feel alone and unloved
- See yourself as the biggest problem in your life
- Believe you must always strive for perfection
- Hold yourself to impossibly high standards
- Berate yourself for not meeting those standards
- Be intimidated to try new things
- Struggle with anxiety and depression
The good news is that you can learn to recognize your worth and believe in yourself.
Imagine starting the day feeling comfortable in your own skin and free to be the real you, because you rarely worry about what others think of you. If you do encounter bumps in the road you bounce back quickly. You’ve developed great skills for coping and thriving.
It helps that you’re making time for self-care and self-compassion, rather than distracting yourself or checking out. You’ve learned how to ask for your needs to be met and you’re happier with your relationships. You’re taking more risks and focusing on what truly makes you happy.
Is it time to take what you can imagine for yourself and make it real?
Self-Esteem Counseling FAQ
Thank you a million times for empathically listening to me and being a mirror to my soul. You are amazing. In my mind I've likened you to this sage, a medicine woman, or something of a wise spiritual counselor.
-Unsolicited email from a client, used with permission.
It is possible to see yourself through compassionate eyes and increase your self-esteem.
I offer a free consultation so you can explore whether working together would be a good fit for you right now. You can meet with me by telephone or at my Santa Rosa therapy office.
PLEASE NOTE: I'm currently booked through the summer, and will start taking new clients in September.
Join my email list to receive monthly Wisdom Notes for your wise life journey.
You’ll also get a free guided meditation: Coming Home to Your Deepest Wisdom.