Women's Self-Esteem Counseling in Santa Rosa and Online

Self-esteem counseling invites you to see yourself through compassionate eyes.

Do you experience doubts about yourself and your worth? Maybe it happens when you wonder whether you’re good enough. Or when you question your abilities and feel inadequate.

You're probably familiar with your inner critic too, the part of you that gets right to the heart of what’s wrong: you’re too much this or too little that. Not smart enough or too ingrained to change. Or you’re a bad (fill in the blank): mother, daughter, partner, employee, friend. It could be almost anything.

A harsh inner critic depletes your self-compassion and belief in yourself.

It may activate feelings of insecurity and unworthiness. Or it might leave you in a loop of comparing yourself to other women and believing you fall short.

You may also believe other people judge you harshly, and then unknowingly look for opportunities to prove that to yourself. The result: a lot of harsh self-judgment and the belief that you should try to be "better." Or even strive for perfection.

In spite of this, there are moments when you know the critical parts of you are not the experts on you, and there's more going on under the surface.

Therapy for self-esteem creates space to understand your deeper story.

Those moments when you connect with your inner wisdom and see yourself in a different light are golden. They offer a window into an expanded relationship with yourself: one that’s compassionate, nurturing, loving, and kind. They can even offer empathy and redemption for your inner critic, who's just trying to protect you but doesn't have the skills to do so.

Working together we can build on those moments. And as you begin to heal and trust yourself, you also begin to reclaim your own powerful wisdom.

As your self-esteem therapist, I’ll guide you gently and compassionately. I'll calm your fears and affirm your worthiness. Because truly, there’s nothing wrong with you and low self-esteem is not your fault.

Challenges with self-esteem often have their roots in the past.

The message that you’re not okay probably started long ago, especially if you experienced disapproval, lack of support and attention, trauma, bullying, or academic challenges growing up.

My clients often tell me they're hesitant to begin self-esteem counseling. They're wary of getting to know themselves better because they're worried that deep down they'll discover they don't really like themselves very much. This belief is often related to past history, expectations, or relational trauma.

Women also get a lot of "you’re not okay" messages from culture and society. They can affect your body image, your confidence in making decisions about your life, your trust in yourself and others, your beliefs about what’s possible for you, and your behaviors at work and home.

Messages about your self-worth are confusing and contradictory. As a result you might…

  • frequently apologize for no apparent reason
  • feel obligated to please people and seek approval
  • have trouble trusting yourself and saying "no"
  • put your needs at the bottom of the list
  • feel alone, unloved or overwhelmed
  • see yourself as the biggest problem in your life
  • believe you must always strive for perfection
  • hold yourself to impossibly high standards
  • berate yourself for not meeting those standards
  • be intimidated to try new things
  • struggle with anxiety and depression

Please consider this: you are whole and complete, right here, right now.

Yes, it really is true.

Imagine starting the day feeling comfortable in your own skin and free to be the real you, because you rarely worry about what others think of you. When you do encounter moments of doubt you understand the root causes and are able bounce back. You’ve also developed skills to cope and calm your nervous system.

It helps that you’re taking time for self-care and self-compassion, rather than distracting yourself, overworking, or checking out. You’ve learned how to ask for your needs to be met and you’re happier with your relationships. You’re taking more risks and focusing on what truly makes you happy.

Is it time to take what you can imagine for yourself and make it real?

Self-Esteem Counseling FAQ

Thank you a million times for empathically listening to me and being a mirror to my soul. You are amazing. In my mind I've likened you to this sage, a medicine woman, or something of a wise spiritual counselor.

-Unsolicited email from a client, used with permission.

It is possible to believe in yourself and recognize your worth.

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