Opening to Your Light and Shadow Self
Do you ever feel the tug of your light self and your shadow self?
Several clients have recently noticed the call to go deeper into the relationship between the light self and shadow self. Perhaps it’s related to the recent spring equinox, a time when the days begin to grow longer and the sun returns.
But actually, any season (particularly the internal season of midlife) presents us with a gentle invitation to pause and explore the paradox of opposites, both the roots and the branches that form the tree of us.
No noble, well-grown tree ever disowned its dark roots, for it grows not only upward but downward as well.
-Carl Jung
As far as I’m concerned, it’s always a good time to explore the tension between the light self and shadow self.
In fact, I recently found myself pondering the psychological nature of the light self and shadow self, particularly in my own journey through life. I’ve come to understand that my experience of the two can’t be separated. When I explore one side of myself I must also explore the other as well, because together, they make me whole.
In the midst of pondering this personal truth, a memory came rushing back to me. I recalled an interview I listened to a few years ago with the gifted and rather eccentric German filmmaker Werner Herzog.
Among the many things he discussed was his belief that Americans tend to dig too deeply into their psyches, uncovering pain and sorrows that are best left in shady darkness.
He said (and I’m paraphrasing here):
You put all your problems in the spotlight, shining a harsh light on your inner life. It’s like going around your apartment lighting up the dark corners. Why would you want to uncover the dust bunnies and spiders lurking in that unconscious realm?”
His point was you can bring too much light to the shadow self within you.
From a psychological viewpoint, I understand what he meant. Relentlessly mining the inner darkness for flaws and challenges, in an effort to become the best version of yourself (or some other currently popular goal), will likely leave you feeling exhausted and empty.
The truth is, shadow work isn’t really about uncovering the best version of yourself, but rather discovering the mysterious, enigmatic, unknown parts of you, those that are quirky, original, rare, and uncommon.
Of course, those are often the secret, scary parts too.
(By the way, I love that you have all of it in you, light self and shadow self. That we all have all of it in us.)
Still, it can be challenging to understand this unconscious realm.
It resides in the part of our brains (and bodies) that doesn’t speak the same language we do. We can’t always name or quantify what we’re discovering about ourselves when we start to focus the inner journey on the light and the shadow self.
The process may seem somewhat surreal, like being in the space between waking and sleeping, knowing and not knowing.
So we need to approach the deeper journey very tenderly and creatively, with extreme self-compassion.
First, recognize that you are not simply exploring your inner realms of light and shadow, but you are also lifting the veil to see and claim the gold in your shadow too. The gold often reflects positive and creative parts of you that you’ve pushed down or neglected due to lack of validation and support.
Even the shadowy traits you might think are “bad” or “wrong” have a place within you. They’re essential elements that contribute to your sense of wholeness, and repressing them can feel exhausting.
Furthermore, there’s this truth: you are not required to have this figured out. Also, you are not either/or, but a whole human being, living a life of joy and challenges.
Finally, you might consider what Werner Herzog said.
I suspect that as an artist he holds his shadows close for a reason. I bet he accesses them intuitively and synchronistically through his films and performances.
Maybe he even senses that shining the spotlight too brightly would diminish his ability to make use of them in his life and art.
That said, you don’t need to be steeped in a world of creative flow to use creative process to seek your shadow and gently convene with it.
You can start by posing a few simple questions to help you look within.
- What emotion do you rarely allow yourself to feel fully? Capture whatever occurs to you first, without judging it. Continue exploring by starting a written conversation with the emotion. Or scribble its shape in your journal.
- What “mask” do you feel obligated to wear in certain situations or with certain people? Write about it and draw it in your journal.
- Remember a time when you felt most like your true self. Write about the experience in sensory detail, capturing sounds, smells, tastes, sights, touch.
- Make a list of the activities, experiences, and people that give you the sense of “a life well lived.”
Give yourself time with this exploration. Let it unfold, accepting that there’s no particular destination you have to reach on this journey. But do pause along the way. Notice and reflect on the metaphors and images that come to you in the process.
Follow your inner voice and try not to force the answers.
You may be surprised by the gold you unearth in doing so.
And as I wrap this up, you may also be surprised to learn (as I was) that after I started writing this I had another encounter with Werner Herzog’s philosophy.
In a recent New York Times article about a film making workshop he holds every year in the Azores, he recounted the advice he gave to a student who wanted to move a big cow into a small church:
How will you get the cow up the steps and into the church? You may be doomed because the cow may be obstinate and never make a single step up there…You have to do the doable.
Exploring your shadow self is kind of like the cow. Don’t force it. Do the doable.
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The shadow, when it is realized, is the source of renewal; the new and productive impulse cannot come from established values of the ego.
-Connie Zweig, Meeting the Shadow
