How to feel good about yourself [11 things]

Women's counselor and life coach Patty Bechtold shares 11 ways to feel good about yourself at

Well, 2020 was quite a year, wasn’t it? I don’t think we even know yet the toll that the emotional exhaustion has taken. And with all this in the background, it may be harder than usual to feel good about yourself. 

Adding insult to injury is that even though it’s just 14 days into 2021, we can already say that this has been quite a year too. At least so far.

But that’s the thing about a new year, isn’t it?

It doesn’t necessarily feel like a fresh start, as much as we might wish it did. And that new beginning feeling, that new opportunity to feel good about yourself and your life may be in short supply.

In fact, as far as I can tell, last week shook a lot of us up.

And so I’m wondering…

How much “feel good about yourself” energy is in the air for you?

Personally, I can tell you not much. I’ve been a bit wobbly, actually.

I’ve felt a little like I did in the aftermath of 9/11, probably because the strange brew of a government riots here in the U.S. combined with unprecedented numbers of Covid-19 deaths brought a similar internal response.

This is what happens with traumatic stress, though.

What helps me most right now is to remember the basics: go outside, take a shower, write in my journal, talk to a friend, take a walk, rest, make a grilled cheese sandwich, write this blog post. (Well, not necessarily in that order, but you know what I mean.)

All of these very simple things do help me feel good about myself and life, or at least better. And I imagine you have a list of your own simple things that help you feel good about yourself.

For sure, now more than ever, take the time and make room for these things.

Whatever you’re experiencing, please know I’m holding you in my heart.

I’ve decided that perhaps the best way I can hold you in my heart right now is to remind you that you’re doing the best you can. And also, that there are some essential truths that you embody that can bring you home and bring you back to an inner space where you feel good about yourself.

I’ve gathered up 11 of these essential truths. I didn’t have to go far to find them, because I’ve been writing this blog (with you in mind) for four years now.

So please, hold these truths about yourself close and remember them.

11 things to appreciate and help you feel good about yourself

  1. You have a deep and abiding wisdom within you.
  2. You already know so much about how to live your life.
  3. You can step away from the advice and suggestions, and trust your quiet knowing.
  4. Your feelings are always valid; you never need to minimize them or compare them to anyone else’s experience.
  5. Your innate creativity opens up the conduit to your deeper knowing.
  6. Your natural empathy helps you imagine what it’s like to stand in another person’s life.
  7. You possess tremendous gifts, and some may be buried in the depths of your wounds.
  8. Your senses contribute mightily to your feelings of wellbeing and happiness.
  9. You have it in you to join with yourself, to see and accept all parts of yourself with compassion and love, and move forward as a whole, integrated woman.
  10. You can define success on your own terms, not by what society or family tells you about how you should live your life.
  11. You only have to be you, and you’re unique. As Martha Graham famously wrote to Agnes DeMille…There is only one of you in all of time…And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it


Consider the possibility that what now hampers your life was once a movement of grace that saved it. 
-Sandra Lommasson